Horror movie

There are some phrases which should never occur out of a horror movie.
‘I have something to tell you’ which usually implies ‘and I think you ought to sit down first.’
‘I want a word’ and even worse ‘I’d just like a wee word.’
‘Can we have a chat?’
‘I feel it my duty to tell you’ (old fashioned but terribly foreboding)
‘I’m afraid that …’ Nothing good ever followed that.

Any of these phrases make me want to hide under the stairs with my fingers in my ears saying: ‘la,la,la.’

So what opening gambit really chills your blood?


10 responses to “Horror movie

  1. Having had all but one of those said to me in the past week, my fingers are only just coming out of my ears. Happily some of the gloom has since lifted with good news!

    At the moment mine would be “Are you busy on …?”

  2. This is a good game.

    — presumably you know …
    — I know this is none is my buisiness, but…
    — since you’re new we thought you should …
    — I know I’m old fashioned but…

  3. rosemaryhannah

    Does not sound like a good week at all Chris – which one did they avoid?

    I fear with a sinking heart I have used ‘presumably you know…

    Another for the list ‘I’m sorry but…’ and indeed almost any assertion with ‘but’ tagged onto it.

  4. No-one, mercifully, was overcome with a sense of duty. The rest … as you say, not a good week.

  5. ‘Now that you’re retired…’

  6. Ah, Eamonn – that’s the corollary to my horror!

  7. All these are awful. But for me it is, ‘what are you doing on . . . ‘

    My inclination is usually to respond with, ‘NOT whatever it is you’re about to suggest’. Except that my ‘saying no’ practice is still in early stages, so I more often manage an incoherent mumble.

  8. I don’t mean to be rude but…

    I know you won’t mind me saying…

    I just have to say…

  9. We need to discuss progress on …

    You need to have a look at …

    There’s a new article/book/translation by …

  10. I expect I told you x had published on…

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